All for Not?

    So this past week Ive been in Wilmington North Carolina with my best friend and her family. Tonight's the last night here and I'm really starting to wanna just write things out. If you dont have a blog you wont understand, but sometimes I just sit here and write minor thoughts over and over, minor emotions of anger or of awe, but most all end when I hit delete and forget all about it. Well tonight im not doing that Im writing out everything Im feeling but this time publishing it so I can find it later and know that this is where I was at on August 12th 2012.
     This whole week I've spent building relationships with people and families that Ive come to realize I will never, in my life, see ever again. That alone leaves me completely dumbfounded because I cant completely tell if it was a waste of time or not, if coming here and building the beggining of relationships with many people was all for nothing due to an almost certain divergence of our lives. These people were great and I had a lot of fun but never in my life have I felt so confused because Ive came to the conclusion that no matter how great they are or how much fun we had it will end, that is has ended. So this makes me think about life as a whole, if I was 100% sure that someone I confide in now would eventually become just another human on this earth, that they would no longer have a special spot in my life, than would it really be worth it to get to know them more, or be around them more, when you know it will all come to an end at some point in the near future. Or is it more important to live through these experiences and gain from them enough so that when someone comes into your life, even for the shortest amount of time, you can impact there life much like anyone has ever impacted me. It could be a day,week , or a month, or longer, but every person you come into contact with shapes your outlook and opinions on anything and everything whether you notice it or not.
       On to the next tangent. Nikki's leaving for college in 3 days. So scary to know that my bestfriend will be so far away. After spending this week with her in North Carolina I cant even begin to imagine not seeing her atleast weekly.. Shes been a main component of my everyday life for my past two years on this earth. She has impacted my life much like her family has this week but in a much more substantial and long term way. She walked into my life 2 years ago and has staye there ever since. Sometimes you can see the end ahead but the scary part about this is I dont know if I can se the end, whether there isnt one or Im too stubborn to look. All I know for sure is Ill need to really sit back and look at what I can do without her for the first time in a long time.
    and on I type. I feel so much better just having put everything out like that, this isnt a blog like any of my others. I usually try to show my reasoning for an opinion I have on something but this.. this is just my thoughts, written out, plane as day, just so that I can look back on this and know exactly how I felt on August 12th 2012. This is me, Thanks for reading.