Loneliness
This is going to be a different blog. All of the others up to this point seem to be my opinions on any random topic that comes to mind any random day. But today I'm writing about loneliness. Loneliness isn't just a random topic for me, it is probably my biggest struggle that I go through in day to day life and today Ive decided to blog it out.
So lets start here, "What makes someone lonely?" oh man.... So many things can lead to someone being lonely. In my case it seems to be a lack of meaning,, or feeling out of place. It's like whenever I feel like I'm not where Im supposed to be. It's like whenever I feel like I would be happier doing something else or being with someone else, if anyone at all.
Loneliness isn't just not being around people, because believe me if it was than it would be the easiest thing in the world to over come. It is the fact that even when you're in a room full of people, you may never feel like anyone truly cares. You may never feel like you are number one in anyones life but your own. And it's hard. I mean look at me for example, right now Im alone on a Saturday night, sitting in my bed, writing a blog on my laptop, listening to the sound track of MoneyBall, wishing I could be anywhere but here. But honestly even if I wasnt in this physical spot that doesnt mean the mental loneliness would go away.
Its a struggle everyday to make yourself remember that you are important even when you think youre not, even when the whole world seems against you and you feel like youre not going to make it through. And it may seem hypocritical of me to sit here and say "Yes! You can make it through!" because honestly, some days i really dont feel like that. But yes, you can make it through. Things do get better. It may not look like it all the time but eventually you things change and you dont realize it until its in your past.
Looking back on the past year. Who i was and who I am. Things have changed, for better or for worse. And im not going to lie to you , yeah certain aspect of my life grew in leaps and bounds, but others havent gotten better. How about the fact that a year ago i wrote a letter to myself about getting over loneliness yet here I am writing a blog about the very same thing.
Some things in life are easy to learn from and move on, while others you struggle with for a lng time, you may hope and pray that someday you will wake up and feel like the world is on your side but, it isnt. The world is out to get you and beat you down, to get me and beat me down. The reason Im writing this blog is because it honestly affects me. It is a struggle, a downfall, a weak point but I dont want that anymore. That letter I wrote held me to nothing. But this, this holds me to change. This says that I am trying, that I am going to keep trying. And In a year I will be able to look back and know that this blog affected my life, for better or worse that it played a role in the person I am going to become. It's important to remember that you are important. That you can change your own life and make it whatever you want to make it. That you can become whoever you want to be. To not run from yourself but embrace it... Sometimes when life gets the roughest you should really look to yourself for a change. Dont wait on the world to change for you.
Change starts here.
--This entry is a subject that is personal to me and this blog is my outlet. Thanks for reading.
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Saturday, April 21, 2012
Growing Up
Ive always wanted to grow up. Ever since I was little I couldnt wait to be a grown up. But what truly determines if you are grown up,? or if growing up is even a measurable at all?
Grown ups. Ill start here, i guess the only way to figure out how to become a grown up is to start at that point and work backwards. What do grown ups do? They have kids (usually) they have jobs (usually) and they pay taxes ( usually) . They are commonly older, and have lived through many life experiences and had defining moments that led them to become who they are today.
The next step backward would probably be what I would call a pre-adult. This is someone who is probably middle aged and isnt married and doesnt have kids, basically youre on your own at this point but you have no responsibilities except your own. This is where a lot of living gets done, where a lot of hurt can come, where a lot of lives are changed.
Teenagers. Teens are the next lowest in the order here. Living under another persons roof, eating their food, and taking their money. The stage of teen can be the most important in any life. Its where you decide what kind of person you are going to be, what kind of relationship you want when youre older, what kind of job you will have, and what kind of legacy you want to leave on the world.
Kids. kids are harmless. They are just trying to figure things out, theyre just trying to be able to find a grip to hold onto in this crazy, out of control train ,we call our lives. And when they do it can set the base for thee rest of your life.
Now none of this is exact, or correct to anyones life. But when I look back on what Ive just written I still struggle to see where the line is that you cross and become a grown up. I mean obviously it says its the stage after pre-adult but some people dont ever get that chance. Some people are thrust past one or more of these parts of their lives, leaving major gaps of time and experiences.
Every part of life specific to you is important. It shapes you. It gets you to the end goal of being a grown up. But whats crucial not to forget is to not grow up to fast. To have a beginning, middle, and end to your life story. To live every part to its complete and utter potential,because when you do that you allow not only yourself to become a "grown-up" but also everyone connected to you.
On dictionary.com it says Grown up- The age at which you reach maturity. So I guess that answers it. You become a grown up when you can realize which phase of your life you're in and willingly proceed into the next. That's maturity, that's responsibility, that's when you truly become a grown up.
"Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."-Ferris Bueller (John Hughes)
Grown ups. Ill start here, i guess the only way to figure out how to become a grown up is to start at that point and work backwards. What do grown ups do? They have kids (usually) they have jobs (usually) and they pay taxes ( usually) . They are commonly older, and have lived through many life experiences and had defining moments that led them to become who they are today.
The next step backward would probably be what I would call a pre-adult. This is someone who is probably middle aged and isnt married and doesnt have kids, basically youre on your own at this point but you have no responsibilities except your own. This is where a lot of living gets done, where a lot of hurt can come, where a lot of lives are changed.
Teenagers. Teens are the next lowest in the order here. Living under another persons roof, eating their food, and taking their money. The stage of teen can be the most important in any life. Its where you decide what kind of person you are going to be, what kind of relationship you want when youre older, what kind of job you will have, and what kind of legacy you want to leave on the world.
Kids. kids are harmless. They are just trying to figure things out, theyre just trying to be able to find a grip to hold onto in this crazy, out of control train ,we call our lives. And when they do it can set the base for thee rest of your life.
Now none of this is exact, or correct to anyones life. But when I look back on what Ive just written I still struggle to see where the line is that you cross and become a grown up. I mean obviously it says its the stage after pre-adult but some people dont ever get that chance. Some people are thrust past one or more of these parts of their lives, leaving major gaps of time and experiences.
Every part of life specific to you is important. It shapes you. It gets you to the end goal of being a grown up. But whats crucial not to forget is to not grow up to fast. To have a beginning, middle, and end to your life story. To live every part to its complete and utter potential,because when you do that you allow not only yourself to become a "grown-up" but also everyone connected to you.
On dictionary.com it says Grown up- The age at which you reach maturity. So I guess that answers it. You become a grown up when you can realize which phase of your life you're in and willingly proceed into the next. That's maturity, that's responsibility, that's when you truly become a grown up.
"Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."-Ferris Bueller (John Hughes)
Friday, April 6, 2012
Near Death Experiences
The shear phrase "near death experience" makes my mind wander. What is even classified as a near death experience, because who can tell you how close to death you are until you're dead. Life isn't about trying to win, you can't win, life will beat you. Not to burst anyones bubble but you're going to die. No if's and's or but's it's going to happen.
So I guess the main question of this blog would be what is near death. Simple answer would be any situation where death was a looming possibility. But to me, what situation is death not a part of?
Many people will say love is what makes the world go around. But on the contrary I think death is what makes the world go around, in combination with love death is the basis for all human emotion.
Loving someone is caring so much you would give all of yourself for a person. (Death..) So in the same way that love breeds life, death breeds love. Death causes people to fear, to draw closer together, to love each other. And in any near death experience you would hope to be with someone you love.
I guess the phrase near death experience is an omnipresent tense. No matter where you are there is always death but don't fear it, embrace it, because with death there is love. Find comfort in loved ones because someday life will catch up with you and death will eventually overcome. There are morgues full of bodies, very few if any of those people were prepared to die. They all had hopes, dreams, "I'll do that later"s and now they don't have the chance for any of that.
So before your "near death experience" becomes a deadly experience, live without regrets and live for a bigger purpose than yourself. Live like there's no tomorrow, LOVE like there's no tomorrow. The only way to succeed through death is knowing that when you die you did everything you could do, that you lived, loved, and changed the world. That you made others lives better through your own. Life isn't about trying to win, you can't win, life will beat you. Not to burst anyones bubble but you're going to die. No if's and's or but's it's going to happen.
So I guess the main question of this blog would be what is near death. Simple answer would be any situation where death was a looming possibility. But to me, what situation is death not a part of?
Many people will say love is what makes the world go around. But on the contrary I think death is what makes the world go around, in combination with love death is the basis for all human emotion.
Loving someone is caring so much you would give all of yourself for a person. (Death..) So in the same way that love breeds life, death breeds love. Death causes people to fear, to draw closer together, to love each other. And in any near death experience you would hope to be with someone you love.
I guess the phrase near death experience is an omnipresent tense. No matter where you are there is always death but don't fear it, embrace it, because with death there is love. Find comfort in loved ones because someday life will catch up with you and death will eventually overcome. There are morgues full of bodies, very few if any of those people were prepared to die. They all had hopes, dreams, "I'll do that later"s and now they don't have the chance for any of that.
So before your "near death experience" becomes a deadly experience, live without regrets and live for a bigger purpose than yourself. Live like there's no tomorrow, LOVE like there's no tomorrow. The only way to succeed through death is knowing that when you die you did everything you could do, that you lived, loved, and changed the world. That you made others lives better through your own. Life isn't about trying to win, you can't win, life will beat you. Not to burst anyones bubble but you're going to die. No if's and's or but's it's going to happen.
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